Because if you don’t:

1. We’ll return to our day jobs developing SmokeShop, a unique software that transmits second-hand smoke over standard phone lines.

2. We’ll automatically download an undeletable Adam Sandler screensaver to your computer.

3. We’ll revive the patent on the lawn game of Jarts.

4. We’ll change our name to Peteswelcome.com and have unsavory characters named Pete greet you from the closet of your hotel room.

5. We’ll telephonically convert your way cool ringtone into the sound of a bodily function.

6. We’ll move to Maine and implement our evil plan to foist tainted lobster rolls on an unsuspecting world market.

7. We’ll adjust your universal remote control so that it automatically loses itself, your car keys, your cellphone and an undesignated family member with the simple push of button.

8. We’ll arrange hourly tweets from Chancellor Angela Merkel giving you updates on the shrinking blood sausage industry in Germany.

9. We’ll turn your home answering machine into the same system used by your local cable company so that you’ll be switched to Sri Lanka to find out you can’t talk to your family.

10. We move back in with our parents.