Dog Humor

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?


  • Afghan: Light bulb? What light bulb?
  • Golden Retriever: “The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re worrying about a burned out light bulb?”
  • Border Collie: “Just one. And I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.”
  • Australian Shephard: “First put all the light-bulbs in a little circle…”
  • Dachshund: “I can’t reach the stupid lamp!”
  • Toy Poodle: “I’ll just blow in the border collie’s ear and he’ll do it.”
  • Rottweiler: “Make me!”
  • Shi-tzu: “Puuuh–leeez, daahling, I have servants for that kind of thing.”
  • Lab: “Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeaze let me change the light bulb. Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?”
  • Malamute: “Let the border collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.”
  • Cocker Spaniel: “Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.”
  • Doberman Pinscher: “While it’s dark, I’m going to sleep on the couch.”
  • Mastiff: “Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.”
  • Old English sheep dog: “Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I ate was a light bulb?”
  • Siberian Husky: “Light bulb?!? I ate the light bulb, and the lamp, and the coffee table it sat on, and the carpet under the coffee table, and…”
  • Jack Russell Terrier: “And what do I get for it?”

The Vet Bill

inearA man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, but your dog has passed away.”

“What?” screamed the man. “How can you tell? You haven’t done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!”

With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever when right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said “Bark.”

The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, “Meow.” He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room.

Then the veterinarian completed the paper work and handed the man a bill for $600. The dog’s owner went postal. “$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!”

The vet shook his head sadly and explained. “If you had taken my word for it, it would have been $50, but, with the lab work and the cat scan…………….It’s $600.”

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