With the current popularity of crossbred dogs such as Cockapoos, Labradoodles, Puggles, and Schnoodles, to name just a few, some of us at Petswelcome got to thinking about other interesting crossbreeds we’d love to see. What better way to spend an afternoon at the office (and get paid for it!) than concocting new breeds out of existing ones and to speculate on their traits and behavior?
That got me digging into my favorite dog reference book ever, The International Encyclopedia of Dogs, which lists and describes every breed in the world, many I’ve never heard of because they can only be found in their country of origin. I’ve spent many wonderful hours feeding my canine cravings by pawing through my copy, fantasizing about different kinds of dogs I’d love to own or just hang out with. I even discovered my Bracco Italiano in this book.
Since the Encyclopedia of Dogs list so many breeds, we knew it would greatly enhance our palette when trying to mix them up and come up with new ones, some that might take generations to conjure due their complex lineage. We’re not positive that any of these crossbreeds never existed. But we’re pretty positive.
MoLaryeCurly: This is a mix of a Molosser, a Larye, and a Curly Coated Retriever. Technically this crossbreed would be impossible to create today because the Larye (pronounced, we hope, Larry) is an old French hound breed that is now extinct. However, because we are huge Three Stooges fans, we thought it would be fun to imagine what this dog might be like. One of its obvious traits would be, if you tapped on its head it would sound like an anvil. Also, gather a few in one room and they probably would get into a pie fight.
Russian OsterDox: A mix between a Russian Wolfhound, an Österreichische (Austrian) Pinscher and a Dachshund. This noble breed tends towards fanciful garb, large cathedrals, Byzantine crosses and incense. Though they are prone to large schisms with the Catholic church (their most recent one has been going on since 1054), we hope they’ll both make up and become best buddies again soon.
PekingDuck: This crossbreed is made up from a Pekingese and a Nova Scotia Duck Trolling Retriever. It is characterized by thin, crispy skin and a tendency to get ladled in homemade plum sauce and green onions. We’re not sure if these dogs ever existed or simply had short lifespans because they were impulsively eaten by their horrified, yet pleasantly sated, owners.
ChiHoo-ah: A cross between a Chihuahua and Al Pacino. This crossbreed originated in 1992 when the movie Scent of a Woman was released. Though Pacino won the Academy Award for Best Actor for his performance, most people (and dogs) we know could not sit through the whole film. This breed is noted for its tendency toward criminal overacting and a reliance on annoying character traits.
GasBerner: A potent mix of a Gascon Saintongeois, a French scenthound, and a Berner Swiss Hound, known in the U.S. as a Bernese Swiss Hound. The GasBerner probably would have a trait similar to an old flatulent St. Bernard I used to own. And I don’t mean it would sleep a lot. If you opt for this crossbreed, keep the windows open.
Mini Drever: This is a cross between a Miniature Schnauzer and a Drever, which is a Swedish scenthound. This would be a great crossbreed for anyone who is a fan of Good Will Hunting and Gross Pointe Blank. One of its recessive traits is that it has a pretty good singing voice, too.
LappRot: A mix between a Lapphund, which is a Scandanavian herding Spitz, and a Rottweiler. Characterized by severe itching and discoloration, usually due to time spent in wet climes, the LappRot is something you probably want to avoid at all costs. Though we have heard there are some ointments for it, we suggest just settling for a pure Lapphund or a pure Rottweiler. In this case, Don’t go messin’ with the genetics yo should be your guiding principle.
Yellow Euran Pudle: OK. We had to work hard for this one. It’s a crossing of a Yellow Lab, a Eurasier, an Andalusian Hound and a Pudelpointer. This multiple crossbreed is distinguished by stained rugs and letting you know if your kitchen floor is plumb, depending on whether the “Pudle” remains intact or becomes a moving body of liquid.
IncaDunkerDogoDingoDo: This is a mix between an Inca Orchid Dog, a Dunker, a Dogo Argentino, a Dingo, and a Doberman. We have no idea how this dog would turn out. It’s way too complicated. But who cares? Really. Who cares? What’s important is the joy you’ll get every time someone asks you, What kind of dog is that?